You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

You can not love, so suffer! But only in my honor!

[reclam]

Well, dear friends, the familiar "sunset"? It seems to be parting, seemingly, and this person is not needed, but “let stsuko remember me, or, even better, suffer for me”!

There are more such stories than you might think. Having rummaged in memory, each of us will find a similar situation in life.

For example, a girl initiates a break with a man. More precisely, as a break ... She hopes that he will come with an apology wrapped in a bouquet of flowers under her balcony, sing a dozen serenades, repent, and she will think about forgiving him.

The man, tired of finding out at the first stages of their acquaintance, simply escaped. More precisely, what sort of showdown there? Everything from the category of "I am what I am, with me it should be like this, and I will think about how you feel." It remains only to add an appeal to him: "slave", not uttered, but implied in these relations.

The girl is waiting for a serenade in his honor under the balcony, the man disappeared from the horizon, leaving her with a burning dream if not to return him, then at least annoy him. Make it suffer. To bestow guilt.For example, throw SMS-messages that bought a pregnancy test. Really pregnant? Not. But he, HE, does not need to know this. This is just an attempt either to make him return, or just to remind himself. No not like this! Make him come back, and then quit. After the enchanting sex, so that he knew what he was losing.

Why? ... There is an opinion in this direction, and I will voice it a bit later, but for now there is one more story, in order not to be one-sided and not to shoulder all the responsibility on the feminine gender.

The goal of an imposing young man is to seduce. Put in a bed of girls. Moreover, not the way Don Juan did it, losing interest in the “trophy”, that is, in the girl who became available to him, but without interest in girls at all. In the sense that this man acts without a hint of being in love, he simply replenishes his "arsenal" of girls laid in a bed. Again, the question is why.

“You know,” he says, “I am“ as ”in bed. I studied sex and techniques for giving pleasure to girls from the best seducers, I was just “super” in bed. I can send a girl in such a cool orgasm, which she had not experienced before. And never with anyone will not experience more.And the rest of his life will dream of him and me. And FIG her! No more coming back. Let him suffer, remembering me. Do you want me in bed? you will not regret ... in any case, you will not regret for an hour. " Madhouse? Real story. And it only looks grotesque.

Why is it so important for a person to know that they love him and remember him? It is so important that even great things happen, people only do it in order “so that the descendants can remember.” The archetypal layer of "human memory" is very strong to abandon it, as well as the attention of other people in real life. The importance of this is “written down” somewhere in the subcortex, because social animals need recognition, love and approval to survive.

After all, it is precisely this, attention, recognition, love, that is how people, who do not let go, bind other people to themselves, are seeking this. They literally strive, straight, with their forehead against the wall of alienation, fighting. So much attention is required. And get caring for yourself.

What horoscope are we reading in the first place? Your own? What for? We, about ourselves do not know what is written there? I asked, it turns out, rarely anyone reads about loved ones to understand them better, for example.To know their features, their character traits. Other tests, on the subject of choice of clothes, lipstick, and other things. Who chooses to read about my sister's manicure? About her husband's tie? Few who, as far as I know. We are all self-centered, and this is natural. That is, “love yourself”, or trying to love.

Why did I write “love” in quotes? Because, being afraid to be branded as egocentric, we are idum against our nature and prohibit such luxury. Let others love us, sin yourselves to love yourself. “We are trying to love” - not knowing what “love for ourselves” is, we go to the courses of “sterology” and try to raise our egocentrism to a degree.

The basic state of egocentricity and autoeuroticity is natural for us. Giving love is the second part of the “formula of love”, and this, in my opinion, is the essence of the conflict when looking for a partner.

I hasten to clarify my position. I myself write several articles about how to show love for oneself is the best thing a person can do for his own happiness, then suddenly I write that it is even better to give my love. There is no contradiction here, because you can only give to another what you already have. Moreover, in abundance.To give, it was not a pity to "destitute" myself.

In my opinion the situation is this. Those of us who do not doubt that he himself deserves love easily accept it as confirmation of his own opinion of himself. They know that they loved their mom-dad, and now, of course, love. And, being under this protection, protection of love "unconditional", they are strong. When they grow up, they will be able to “grow” love for themselves. More precisely, they are more likely to do so. After all, it happens that parental love does not help grow this love, but it happens that a person copes himself, “growing” this feeling in the absence of parental love.

Such people, with an ingrained basic love of self, do not need someone's obligatory love to survive. They can afford the luxury of not demanding someone else’s love, not begging for her as mercy. They are so “fed” with their own love that they can be interested in other people, and not only in themselves, and, ... a strange thing, to give, to give their love to someone. People who give themselves love do not so desperately need the love of others. They welcome her, accept her with gratitude, but do not depend on her.And what do people in need of love do? Not having this support in yourself?

Someone "has a child for himself." And even this motive with emotion is exaggerated by the media. “I am giving birth to a child from a beloved man, because a man does not belong to me, but a child will love me, where to go? Will love instead of an adult man. ” And then everything is “good” until the child grows up. Indeed, where to go from his mother? Being small, he cannot not love her, and when he grew up?

What can keep the grown-up son? Most of us know the answer: Guilt toward the mother. Or mothers should make him addicted. Or become addicted to it. All right said? There are many articles on this side. Approximately this (hanging feelings of guilt and dependence) occurs in the relationship of adults.

When we are not able to receive love, we are trying to get attention, recognition, participation, just “energy”, no matter what, in other ways. Exactly as in the examples. "Let the man feel guilty for what he" made me a child, "let him suffer from the uncertainty whether this child is alive."And "let the girl remain in the" break-up "for the rest of her life, since she will not see me again." Cruel, right? But even though the thread of “relations” still remains, there is some kind of illusion of one’s own significance for at least someone in this cold world.

It’s just that we are so focused on our person (this is natural, I repeat) that we forget that the people with whom we are going to manipulate are, perhaps, with us in the “same pit”. They also need love and recognition. Want to be special. They want to receive love, and not to listen to the notation "love me, what I am." Saying trite, "they also have feelings."

Have you noticed that people who are genuinely interested in other people, in their feelings, for the most part are themselves surrounded by love and acceptance? To them are drawn. No wonder Zheglov from the screen said that you can attract a person to yourself by talking about him. No wonder Carnegie wrote his book. As there? “Remember the name, be interested in the interlocutor”, but everyone read already, probably?

I will make a reservation that using simple techniques described in the literature is effective, but only for manipulation. Perhaps this fact repels many from the same Carnegie. The natural behavior of being in the interest to other people is born from being in the interest to yourself. Self-interest is so strong and deep that does not need external feeding.

And yet, while we are all on the path of creating this interest, this self-love, how to build relationships with other people right now? I summarize all of us in our inability to love ourselves because over the last century we have been taught quite differently. And if someone is more successful in this area, then let them share their experiences in the comments. So far, what I see is how people knock on the closed shutters of other people's souls in search of participation in their destiny. Even without suspecting that behind deaf shutters, instead of a birthday cake, there is hardly a crust of bread.

How do we know that outside the window, behind other people's shutters, there should be a birthday cake? “So for people whose shutters are wide open - everything is like that! We have seen! ”Only did not take into account that because the pie is, that the soul is open. Try to open your own? But as?

Give people what you need the most. In order to give it, (and you don’t have it or not enough), you will need to have a bit of “this”. Not for yourself (if you still don't love yourself enough for this), for another person who you are currently interested in more than yourself. Want to compliment your beauty? Say these compliments to him. Want some gifts? Bring to him on a date a do-it-yourself bauble with love. Do you want attention? Be interested in them more.

You will ask, with what a fright I will “bend over”, “you will beat you too much, I need all this myself!” This is your business. If your previous strategies, as well as their result suits you, go ahead. And if you want to get something that you never had, try doing something that you have never done before. While these tips are similar to the tactics of manipulation. But only until you do it sincerely. Do you need a confession? Love? Start small. With self-esteem. With thanks.

I think that the gratitude of the people you are genuinely interested in will help you create the foundation for the building of self-love. Implements the burning desire of their own need for people. Your environment will create the wrong need for you, in the sense of dependence on you, so that “you cannot be without”, and then the desire to “be near” because you are well with you.

Become the one who first gives love among those who run after each other, asking her as a handout.You will be surprised to see that suddenly you will be the richest person in your environment. The most sought after.

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  • You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor

    You can not love, so suffer But only in my honor