When you first hurt me, I had to decide that I deserved better treatment and stop fighting for our relationship. I should have pushed you away before you became attached to you even more. I should have paid attention to the warning signs of the beginning of the end in order to avoid a painful rupture.
Instead of listening to my intuition, I listened to my heart. I gave you one more chance, accepted an apology and forced myself to believe in the lie that everything would change for the better.
I convinced myself that you are worth the effort. Tears. Headache.
But you did not let up and hurt me again. At that time I should have realized that if you broke your promise twice, you would do the third time.
But instead of thinking soberly, I believed you again. Because of my blind love, I assured myself that you would still meet my expectations. I thought you would appreciate my efforts, because I have done so much for you. I thought you were worth it. But she was wrong again.
When you hurt me the third time, I had to understand that it was your habit. I should have sent you when you swore again that this time everything would be different.
But I forgave you again to stay in a relationship, to which I had time to get used. Departure from you meant change, and I was not ready for them. At least I knew what to expect from you. By that time, I knew how to deal with disappointments. I got used to them.
I kept letting you hurt me because it became a habit. You screw up. I will make a tantrum. You are sorry. I will forgive you.
The more chances I gave you, the more you betrayed my trust, believing that I would take it off my hands again. You hoped that I would stay with you forever, because I never gave a reason to think otherwise. I let you wipe my feet on me.
I am sorry that I did not leave you when you first hurt me, because now the gap with you is difficult for me. We have accumulated so many joint memories, both good and bad.
Now I can’t imagine what I would do without you. I do not know how I would occupy myself on the weekend, with whom I would share the news, where I would live and what I would become.
And, although it is difficult to forget you, but I will try. Although I allowed you to hurt me a million times, I will not allow this to happen again.
I am finally not going to fight for our relationship. I will strive for a better life for myself.