All parents are thinking about the question of how to instill in a child certain qualities, how to raise a successful and worthy person. The answer can be found in the recommendations of the famous writer Lindsay Mead. She created the so-called "parental program", that is, what you would like your children to learn by the age of 10.
So, note to parents. These items will help to develop positive qualities in the child. Here are the writer's theses that need to be discussed.
1. Respect other people's feelings
Both men and women. The director of your school and the homeless man at the subway equally deserve respect. You already do it, on an instinctive level. Please never change this principle.
2. Pranks and physical activity is great and fun.
Naughty - fine. I know that I bounce on you more often than I should, because I myself prefer silence,but I'm working on it. Physical activity and even some violence is perfectly normal.
3. No means no. And point
It doesn't matter who says no and in what context.
4. Do not hide your sensitivity.
You experience everything incredibly deeply - the course of time, memories, love, loss. Do not let the world convince you to muffle your feelings. You can be a strong and sensitive person. In fact, a rich palette of feelings makes you stronger. This is true for both boys and girls.
5. You can not make another person happy - neither me, nor dad, nor sister
No one. And this is not your duty. I know it, we all know it, and I hope that you will always remember it. You are responsible for yourself and for your attitude towards others, which, of course, can influence their mood. But don't let anyone make you feel responsible for his or her happiness. It makes me happy to know that you are succeeding, you overcome difficulties, you feel enthusiasm, you enjoy life and you live consciously.
Read also:True happiness that is available only to parents.
6. Pay attention to your own life
In every ordinary moment of the day you can see so many details. Recently, before going to bed, you told me: "We hate what we want to return." I asked what you mean, and you answered: "We had a quiet hour in kindergarten and I didn’t like it, but now at school I would not mind having time to rest every day." But after a few seconds you added: "Well, at least I paid attention to it. I think this is good."
This is really good. I have not yet learned how to stop time, but I know that when we pay close attention to everything that happens, even everyday life, we receive days full of life and rich memories as a reward.
7. Find something that fascinates you.
It doesn't matter what it will be, but I don’t want to hear from you the words “I am bored”. Never. There are so many interesting things around you that you can explore, recognize and experience. I will support any of your hobbies, be it hockey, or programming, or playing the violin - or even all of it at once! But you have to find something you want to get away with.
8. There can be nothing worse than spoiled / ingratitude.
I am a strict mother, although it is often hard for me to punish or scold.But to which I will certainly respond immediately (and without any regret) - this is even the slightest manifestation of spoiledness or ingratitude. You rarely have them, and it doesn't seem like you were by nature, but please always remember how incredibly lucky we are.
To live as we live every day is a great privilege. Small Sunday surprises, volunteering, help to the homeless, notes of thanks — with the help of such things I tried to show you what a great luck it was to live like our family. I think this is the best vaccination against pamperedness and ingratitude.
9. Even if you don’t start doing something, you can still be wrong
I always remember one statement by Martin Luther King: "The silence of our friends hurts a lot more than the words of our enemies." The leader of the gang (or the instigator of something) is to blame, but everyone who went after him is also to blame. Have the courage to confront popular children when circumstances are such that they will do something bad. So far this has not happened, but I know that someday this will happen.
10. I love you, no matter what.
Mistakes are part of life.To learn something, you need to let go of the past and start anew. I definitely showed this by my example, maybe even too obvious: your mother is raising you, who is not afraid to show her weaknesses, not afraid to fail, to apologize and start anew. I will always love you, even if I do not love your behavior. I hope you will live with the understanding that you need to learn from your mistakes, and having realized them you will be able to start all over again.